Need a laugh? Computer ILLitteracy should help

Hi all:

I've been feeling a bit under the weather the past week. There's nothing like feeling terrible, to remind you of what really counts (and what doesn't).

With that in mind, a friend sent me a list of already in the public domain "computer-related" jokes. I don't know how many of these are really true stories, but they're funny, anyway. At least they got me smiling. I hope they do the same for you.


Tech support: What kind of computer do you have?

Female customer: A white one...

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Tech support: Good day. How may I help you?
Male customer: Hello.. I can't print.
Tech support: Would you click on "start" for me and...
Customer: Listen pal; don't start getting technical on me! I'm not Bill Gates


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Customer: I have problems printing in red...
Tech support: Do you have a color printer?
Customer: Aaaah....................thank you.


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Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?
Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at the 7-11.

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Tech support: What anti-virus program do you use?
Customer: Netscape.
Tech support: That's not an anti-virus program.
Customer: Oh, sorry...Internet Explorer.

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A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer
Tech support: Are you running it under windows?
Customer: "No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point.

The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine."


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And last but not least...

Tech support: "Okay Bob, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter "P" to bring up the Program Manager."
Customer: I don't have a P.
Tech support: On your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: What do you mean?
Tech support: "P".....on your keyboard, Bob.
Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!