H OW TO HANDLE THE HOLIDAYS, SOLO OR NOT by THE ADVICE SISTERS® Alison Blackman Dunham

The two of you were planning the holidays together, but now there has been a change of plans. You'll be away on business and realize you can't get home.  You've pushed your credit too far this year to justify that ticket that brings you closer to family and friends. Suddenly,  it seems that everyone has plans except for you!  If you find yourself solo this holiday season, there is no reason to feel left out, or sit at home!  Here are some ideas from THE ADVICE SISTERS® to make the holiday joyful, solo or not!

• Volunteer!  Giving back is the best way to feel good and do good for others. Help deliver meals to the seniors, shut-ins, and those who can't afford a holiday feast on their own.  The love and gratitude you will experience will keep you warm all season long, and put your own situation in better perspective.  Help at a holiday party for the needy children, or serve meals at a shelter or soup kitchen. You'll be with other loving, caring people keeping busy so the time speeds by. Get started now, and you might be ringing in the New Year with a potential new love!

• Create your own atmosphere of holiday cheer. Decorate your personal space at home and at work with seasonal decorations to add cheer to your surroundings.

• Host a holiday party before friends leave for their holiday destinations.  let people know you would appreciate a cell phone call if possible, and ask for postcards from wherever your friends, are.

• Consider joining or hosting an 'eating & meeting" party where everyone who is alone brings someone else to lunch, brunch, or dinner. You will all know at least one person and you'll meet new people.  This is a fun way to get together every week or month as well as at the holidays.

• If you've been planning to get a pet, this is a good time to choose that grateful, furry friend and spend your holidays getting to know one another. You'll have the added joy of knowing that you saved a life. *never adopt unless you have love to give your new pet for a lifetime!

• Even if the idea of "singles events" make your knees weak, consider joining a singles-only party for a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner, or on New Years' Eve.  It's not "festive" to be solo when everyone else in the room is coupled up.  These events offer companionship, conversation, and you just find a new love. If nothing else, everyone there is in the same boat...and grateful for your company.

• Make a few, definite plans so you will know you've got somewhere to go and someone to see.  On the major holidays, try to arrange a time to call family and friends..it will give you (and them) something to look forward to.

• Stock up on foods you enjoy.  You don't have to eat Turkey or a Roast just because "Mom" always made it.  If you feel like vegetable curry or chicken noodle soup...go for it! 

• Stock up on movies  that inspire you or make you laugh. "It's a Wonderful Life" and "How the Grinch Stole Christmas" are two popular favorites.

• Get on the "net."  No matter where you are in the world, someone is bound to be in a chat room or online dating site, hoping to meet someone and share some "cheer." The Advice Sisters have a free relationships listserv/chat room/bulletin board that you can join.  *you don't know who is on the other side of your computer screen. Be smart and safe.  Don't reveal too much personal information or intimate feelings.

• Promise yourself that next year things will be different. Buy a copy of The Advice Sisters RECRUITING LOVE and get your own, lasting love before the holidays begin again!

• If you get sad or upset, remember that each day is just  24 hours and then it's over!

Copyright 2004, THE ADVICE SISTERS. All rights reserved. For permission to reprint this article write:advicesisters@advicesisters.net