12 Ways To Make Positive Change This Year, by Alison Blackman Dunham aka. "Advice Sister Alison"

Maybe last year wasn't one you'll remember that fondly, but this is a new year.  As my wise and wonderful grandmother used to say:  "where there's life, there's hope."  In other words, if you get up in the morning and are motivated to think things through,  you always have a fresh chance to make things better (starting today) today. Even if the year is almost over, you still have the chance to make it your best year ever. Perhaps you're still in a job long after you thought you'd be somewhere better. Maybe you're wondering why the relationship you thought would lead to something special is still stuck on "neutral."  It might be that you're still not able to accomplish something you really wanted to do.  Maybe you don't have a job, a goal, or a relationship.... at all.......? If your life isn't quite where you'd like it to be, THE ADVICE SISTERS® offer the following tips for making (and keeping) some New Years' resolutions that you can really accomplish. It's never too late to start fresh!

CLEAR AWAY THE COBWEBS: and find inner peace! Just like cleaning your closets and drawers (also not a bad idea), sometimes you just have to assess what's in your mind and body, then, clear out the "junk"  before you can replace it with something better. Start doing a throughout "cleaning" of your emotions and thoughts. Take the time to decide what negative things you want to get rid of in your life this year, and make a list of what positive things you want to add before the end of the year. Make some physical changes, too. Start a new exercise program you can relate to. If you hate traditional exercise, try something new you will like better (e.g. dance, tai chi, yoga).  You'll not only feel better, you'll make new friends and feel empowered!  Just try to be a little more active each day, and you'll find it gets easier and more fun. Take small steps:  walk one stop more from the train or bus;  park away from the store and walk the few extra feet to the door; climb a flight of steps, get a bicycle!   Exercise also produces a chemical reaction in your body which elevates your mood and makes you feel great.

STAY ON TRACK: reach for inspiration . Whenever you feel unhappy or feel frustrated that you are not making progress quickly enough,  do something that you know will be positive and effective.  For example, if  you're still single but don't want to be, buy a book and see how others have handled the "meet market."  You can  read a sample of my Everything Dating Book 2nd Edition, Adams Media, 2005). The book will give you all the basics if you're rusty, or your search for love isn't heating up.  If you're not sure what you really want, get a copy of  Recruiting Love: Using The Business Skills You Have To Find The Love You Want  by The Advice Sisters, finally make an effective plan to find that special partner!     If you're lucky enough in love, but not in all aspects of your life,  check the Advice Sisters Great Relationships Web Site often, and take advantage of all our existing and new Features.  If you are really stuck, try joining a support group, or hiring a life coach or advisor. The Advice Sisters offer private, personal, online advice services at a modest cost. The tools for success are available---but you have to make the first move.

Harness the power of the internet.  Sometimes, the easiest way to move ahead is to sit back for a moment and see what information is online that can help you plan your next move.  There are search engines and blogs, and podcasts, and groups.  Any and all of them may have just that piece of information or inspiration you need to move forward (you found the Advice Sisters online, didn't you?)

BEAT THE BROKEN HEART BLUES: get over that breakup and move on. You can't move forward to a new and better relationship if you're still crying over the old one!  If you are still angry with your "Ex," keep in mind that moving on and living well (and being happy) is the best revenge!  To get yourself moving again, accentuate the positive in your new, single life. Write down all the things you like that your "Ex" hated...and do them ALL! Go on that cruise your "Ex" refused to take,  and luxuriate in the thought you aren't on another fishing vacation where you always ended up doing all the cooking and housework! Shop-til you drop -- and never the all too familiar whine: "can we GO now?"  Take those "girly" pillows she insisted on buying off the couch--or better yet, let Fido chew them!  Take your mind off your old love, and find a new one.  It's fun to learn something new and meet new people!  You can be alone without being lonely. Connect with old friends, volunteer, indulge in a new hobby, join a book club, get a pet...the list of things to keep you busy and involved with others is endless.

PACK UP THE PAST TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE FUTURE:  Reminders of the past are fine if they make you smile, but not if they make you sad, angry or anxious.  Gather up all the things that don't make you feel good, and put them in the back of the closet where you will not be tempted to look for them (or better yet, throw them away).

GET OUT OF THAT RUT: If you just feel too overwhelmed to do anything at all, give yourself a day off. Crawl into bed and stay there all day (or at least indulge yourself by getting that night's sleep you've been missing). Splurge on a spa or do a beauty treatment (at-home facial kit) to relax and help you look and feel great. Soak in a tub until your skin is prune-like and you're relaxed! Accept a challenge. Buy something new that isn't the "same-old, same-old."  Re-arrange the furniture. Try a new cuisine. Ask your new neighbor in for coffee. Try a new look. Don't be too drastic right away, but create a visual that makes the statement that you are already "new & improved" to go with your positive, new attitude.

TELL THOSE SECRETS, SAFELY:  If you're troubled by thoughts and secrets but can't tell anyone, talk to your pet and you'll always have a welcoming "ear" that is safe to tell your troubles and gossip to!  Pets may give you a blank stare when you say : "Off the sofa!" but they are wonderful listeners, never tell your secrets and they have a sixth sense about when you are hurting.

REACH OUT, TOUCH SOMEONE:  Get in touch with a friend you've lost track of. Warm up an old friendship or perhaps ignite a new flame under an old love!  Not all of these old/new connections work out, but take a chance! You may find that the friend you've been missing, has been missing you, too.  The internet has lots of friend-finding sites.

WASH TROUBLES AWAY: If you find yourself truly at the end of your rope, literally wash those troubles right out of your hair. It worked pretty well for Nelly Forbush in "South Pacific. Take a tip from Nelly, and sing at the top of your lungs: "I'm gonna wash that man/woman/boss/two-timer/nagging kid/obnoxious neighbor/co-worker/colleague RIGHT OUTTA MY HAIR!" over and over. Your trouble will feel like they've all gone down the drain by the time you're rinsing out the conditioner.

START A JOURNAL:  Ask anyone who keeps one: writing in a journal is very habit-forming! Once you start writing you may find yourself rushing home, eager to put down all the details of your day. Read it over from time to time and see how much you've accomplished! You will learn so much about yourself. You're writing the happy ending to your own stories!

COUNT ON THE ADVICE SISTERS  I've done the next best thing to coming over to your house with a half gallon of rocky road and three spoons. The Advice Sisters are here for you today and every day! Bookmark The Advice Sisters Web Site.  We also encourage your comments and suggestions, and you can write us at advicesisters@advicesisters.net or advicesisters1@yahoo.com . Join us often and get more tips on how to make this the best year of your life. You may not be able to count on being on that "millionaire" show, or winning the lottery, or finding a pot of gold, but you can count on us

OPENLY VALIDATE YOUR GOALS: self affirmations and positive thinking help. Close your eyes and repeat over and over again (until it really sinks in and you believe it): "I feel good -  this year will be great--I feel good -this will be great...."

 

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