| ALISON ANSWERS: I think you need a look in the mirror of
reality, and a serious change in attitude! Sorry for the "tough love" but you need
it! You are (by your own admission) someone who has problems
holding a job due to interpersonal problems. You've had four jobs in less
than two years and have faulted "the boss" as being the problem in every case.
Did you ever stop to think that the problem is you, not
the boss?
Something is clearly wrong but you don't see it! No job is all
pleasure and no "pain." That's why it's called "work." You
obviously have experience, and skills and don't have a problem getting hired. You say you
like the work you do. It seems to me that a great deal of your
dissatisfaction is due to an unrealistic image of yourself! I surmise that your
problems with supervisors stems from the fact that you do not respect them. Also, you
think you should be calling the shots... but you're not. Your frustration and
contempt is showing, and it's hurting your chance for success.
Why not take the time now, before you're pounding the pavement for your
fifth job in four yearsm to think about what a job gives you and what you really want from
your life and career. As long as you are employed by someone else, you'll be taking
orders from a boss. S/he may not be as skilled or clever as you are, or as educated, but
regardless, that person will be calling the shots.
It might help you deal with authority if you look at things differently.
Start with how you view your current boss. He may not have formal training
(as you apparently do), but he's gotten along, and gotten ahead. And you,
haven't! Your boss worked his way to Manager, without the benefit of formal
training. Isn't that something to admire?
Consider the positive aspects of cultivating a relationship with
this man. He can teach you a thing or two about dealing with people. Even if
you just can't bring yourself to admire anything about this man, getting along with people
in the workplace (especially those who "bug you") is your key to staying
employed and moving ahead. Isn't that what you want?
I would also be careful about my relationship with the boss's wife.
Her compliments please you, but what your eally need to do is please the boss you have,
not his spouse. Furthermore, getting the boss's wife on your side will only go so
far. No couple who works in the same company will want to be taking sides over employees.
Your supposed show of support could "backfire" very quickly.
Challenging assignments are part of nearly everyone's experience on the
job. If the task is really impossible, let the boss know that
you're concerned. Ask what other duties you might put on hold, and ask for help. |
Complaining and protesting won't change the situationm,
but if the boss sees you struggling hard to meet a deadline and sees that you are
giving it your all, he is more likely to assign additional staff or extend the time
frame so you can accomplish the goal. After all, you are supposed to be on the same
team, not working against one another! You may have to work overtime or on weekends to
finish the task. If that's what is required, that is what you must do! As to "having it out" with the boss about a raise, what will that get
you? You won't win friends or points, or any of those compliments you relish.
Furthermore, I advise you against discussing your negative feelings about the boss with
your co-workers. It not only puts them in an uncomfortable position, but when it comes
right down to it, they're going to support the boss...if they have any sense. Talk to your
friends at home if you must, but keep your true confessions under wraps as much as
possible, on the job.
FInally, you may think you're entitled to a
raise, but are you? Did you get that promise in writing? If you didn't, the promise
means little to nothing. Even if you did get this in writing, based on what you say
your current relationship is with your supervisor, I'd think it a poor time to make an
issue of the review right now. Your chances of getting a good review and a raise are
bleak. I'd let the evaluation slide, at least for a while. Clean up your attitude and your
work habits, and doi some damage control. Gain the trust of the boss. Then, assuming
you've ironed out the kinks at this new job, remind the boss that you are well overdue for
a promised raise. If you've really turned around by then, you might just get one.
If you want to keep this job and break the cycle of job-hopping
you are in, decide that the job is worth keeping and the boss is someone you have to
handle with respect, if not enthusiasm. Keep your personal feelings to yourself and be
pleasant and supportive. Stop talking about the boss with co-workers and do the tasks you
are assigned to the best of your ability. Project positive energy and enjoy the parts of
the job you honestly like. If you can't do this, perhaps you might be better off working
for yourself. Keep in mind, however, that even bosses have "bosses" and
entrepreneurs have "clients" who can be even more demanding than a boss.
Think about it. Then act! |
