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Handling Negative Comments From A Supervisor
Q: I'm a junior manager in a service-related business. On my first day back from vacation, my supervisor told me that she had gotten three serious complaints from customers about me. She also said that there were numerous, daily technical glitches in my department and one of my employees acted inappropriately with a customer and that I should fire her. I couldn't get her to tell me who complained about me, or why. I also couldn't convince her not have the other employee fired. When I tried to explain that the "glitches" were just the kind of thing that normally occurs in a workday and that they are easily resolved, she angrily commented that I'm an bad manager with an office that is "falling apart." Then she said she was writing me up for poor performance and if it continued, I would be fired, too. My trusted friend in human resources told me that my supervisor should have been very clear with me if there were problems and what they were, before writing me up and threatening my job. I've been at this company two years, and up until now, I've gotten passable performance reviews. I don't know why this Supervisor is trying to get rid of me all of a sudden, so I went above her head and called her boss. When her boss calls me back what should I say?
ALISON ANSWERS: It's shocking to think your job is secure and you're doing fine, only to find out that what you think might not be true for others. Whether the accusations against you are true or a total fabrication, the most important thing to do is keep calm and get control of your emotions. You can't solve this problem without going through the appropriate channels, and you need cooperation to do this successfully. If you panic and become defensive and hostile, you will only appear to validate your supervisor's accusations.
I can't tell for sure what has happened from your letter, but to suddenly threaten you so severely either your supervisor was having an incredibly bad day or (more likely) her threats were the culmination of a lot of little things that were building up for some time. What types of things could they be? A series of "passable" reviews, for example, aren't the same as good or great reviews. A passable review means your performance is borderline. It needs improvement. Perhaps your supervisor has been waiting for improvements from you that didn't materialize. Those "glitches" that seem so comfortably familiar in your workday may really not be normal in other departments. They could signify real operational problems that you haven't resolved. Could that employee who was terminated have been helped with better supervision and training from you? Could you be ignoring a lot of other signals that things aren't working well in your department? Has anything in your personal life been bothering you that has hampered your work lately? Has your attitude towards customers, or your job, changed? Have there been any incidents that might be leading to additional tension between you and colleagues? This is the time to do a reality check and if there are problems, turn them around.
Your decision to talk to someone you trust in human resources was a good move. I agree with your friend that your supervisor should have been clear about the problems she saw, and allowed you a chance to fix things before threatening your job. The "complaints" against you, for example, are just heresay unless there are written reports or some way to substantiate them. Surely there is a grievance procedure in your company which would give you a chance to hear the nature of the complaints. You can't fix the problems if you aren't given the information you need to move forward. Something is terribly wrong if you receive what you feel is a sudden, unexpected threat from your supervisor, but she can't or won't tell you what the nature of the complaints against you were. Perhaps you and your boss aren't communicating and the underlying hostility that has been building up is something you've been oblivious to. For example, going to your boss's boss without first trying a bit harder to work things out within the system, won't win you any points with either boss.
The bottom line: something has happened and now you're aware of the situation, although you don't know the details. Before that senior boss calls you back (if s/he ever does--most will want to stay out of it and urge you to work things out with your direct supervisor) you need more information. It's possible that things really aren't that bad (your boss could have just over-reacted) but if you want to keep your job and succeed in the company, you must work this out. I urge you to gather up your courage and ask your supervisor to meet with you about the situation once again. No matter how upset you feel, you must be calm and professional this time. Make sure you put a positive and friendly spin on the conversation. You may have been judged unfairly, but she is the one holding the key to your continued success so put the emphasis more on "How can I do a better job?" than "Why are you attacking me?" Be open minded, not defensive about what you hear. Let her know you appreciate the opportunity to go over the problems in your department issue by issue, that you want to improve. Ask her for suggestions on how she thinks you can make positive change, then follow through without complaining. You might even suggest that you would both benefit from an interim review of your performance, say, in three months?Do NOT gossip about this situation with your co-workers. It's tempting to get comfort from sympathetic co-workers, but it's really none of their business and will make you look bad. You've already made a call to the boss's boss that you probably shouldn't have made. If you do get a return call, thank him/her for getting in touch, but say you've already requested another meeting with your immediate supervisor and are confident that the two of you will work things out. Then, if your supervisor refuses the meeting, go back to your friend in human resources and ask if someone in her department, or from employee relations, can work with you to resolve the problem. You might also want to get your resume in order and start an informal job hunt, just in case things don't work out the way you'd like.
Good luck!
Alison Blackman Dunham, aka. "Advice Sister Alison, " is a life & career expert, online advisor, freelance writer, and creator of The Advice Sisters online publications. "The Advice Sisters®" are credited with bringing the advice genre, online. If you are seeking advice of any kind, this website is the right place! If you have a question, dilemma or problem that requires personal attention, consult Alison privately. Also check out The Advice Sisters Features Page with the latest additions to the site. Read the Advice Sisters Blog and enjoy the Bulletin Boards and Forums. For even more advice, inspiration and up-close-and-personal reviews, information and reports, get the free, bi-monthly AdviceSisters Enews by Email.